Miss Manners is the pseudonym of Judith Martin.

And while an additional appreciative gesture - such as flowers sent before the event - is charming, it is hardly necessary when the host is a member of the family being honored. She does not owe him payment, either in money or in goods. It doesn”t matter what the occasion is, or how customary it is for presents to be given.Ĭertainly, your daughter owes her father and the hostess thanks for throwing the party. Miss Manners does not seem to be able to get it across to people that asking for presents is always rude, greedy and nasty. GENTLE READER: Is it your ex-husband”s intention to give your daughter lessons in greed and extortion in connection with her nuptials? Please help me defuse this situation, or enlighten me so that I may apologize for my own poor manners. Will she be expected to give us a gift after her wedding reception, too? DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boyfriend has a mustache and a goatee. I feel that when one throws an engagement party for one”s children, no hostess gift is required. They have everything they could possibly want or need - and yes, I know that”s not the point of a hostess gift. He recently moved into a beautiful home that is stuffed to the rafters. My daughter tells me that her father has hinted that she was rude for not bringing a hostess gift. The party was lovely, and the couple thanked everyone repeatedly during and after the evening. Perhaps that will make up for the presumed lack of response on the part of your victim.ĭEAR MISS MANNERS: My ex-husband, his girlfriend and I hosted an engagement party for our daughter and her fiancee at his home. Given her area of expertise, this is fortunate. Indeed, you serve as a lesson to those who multitask, for which Miss Manners thanks you. GENTLE READER: Presuming you were not being asked to assist in a bank robbery incidental to the parking violation, the etiquette question seems, to Miss Manners, to be more interesting than the legal one. GENTLE READER: Allow Miss Manners to assure you that technically, banging into a lamppost is not an etiquette violation, as you did not offend another person.

Gentle reader miss manners